self conscious already, i don't need to be put down even more. i know it's a pathetic little insult, but to me, to be called fat is really upsetting. it has been imprinted in my mind that i am. i don't need this. i don't believe it when people tell me i'm not, its like been tattooed into my brain. i can't help but think now how pathetic this blog sounds. i just want to be skinnier, to be prettier, for people not to pick on me anymore. i want to achieve personal happiness, which i wont get until i improve my self image. sometimes i start to feel good about myself, i like being curvy, and then people bring me back down again. i really wish i didn't feel like i have to please people all the time. a couple of weeks ago, a girl i don't even know decided to insult me, saying that i was 'weighing down the planet' petty, but it hurts. and then today, i hadn't even insulted the person, i thought she was my friend. but she decided to have the decency to tell me that people were calling me fat behind my back. it just makes me feel fucking brilliant, y'know. and a stupid prick in my drama class shouted it at me earlier, and the whole class laughed at me, and the teacher felt like she had to defend me. i'm so sick of everyone putting me down, making me feel so horrible, and making me genuinely hate myself. i hate life, i hate people. i hate everything. fuck it, i cant wait to get wankered tomorrow.
i need my best friend, and i need to stop fucking crying. grow up hazel. grow up. grow up. grow up.
'sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me.' - FUCKING BULLSHIT.
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