i had a good idea for a blog, but then i forgot what i was going to write about...

... oh wait, i remember now.
i was watching (500) days of summer earlier, and it made me think.

i can relate to summer, and how she was afraid to let tom in to her life properly, how much her the divorce of her parents affected her, etc.
and y'know, i'm going to admit, i'm scared. i'm scared of being with someone too long. scared of letting someone in and them knowing too much. scared of loving someone too much, and them hurting me. scared of things ending badly. yep. scared. and this may sound silly to those of you who have been in long relationships before. my longest relationship was almost three months, and what i don't understand is why i switch when i get to two months. i don't understand me. i just, can't stay with anyone longer than that. is it just me? i don't know whether or not it's because i don't actually like that person as much as i first thought, or whether its because i'm scared to get too attatched to that person. i just don't know.
these thoughts have just been replaying again and again in my head.
also, this quote from (500) days of summer made me think quite a bit too:

"it was that you can't ascribe great cosmic significance to a simple earthly event. coincidence. that's all anything ever is. nothing more than coincidence."

i really like that quote.
anyway, i'm going off to think some more.